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Tuesday, May 03, 2005
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Why is todae so weird? why is it that everybody is talking abt love!! even teachers..thought it was suppose to be a good day?I dreamt of her yesterdae but forgotten the dream..When i walk on the street seeing couples so tian mi .. i am envy..so wat if i am envy? wat can i do? why must i be envy... I love her..so..she love another guy..she is happy with him..they match.. Keep giving them best wishes...keep telling myself as long as she is happy i will oso be happy..but i dun seems to..instead i am being much more sad...why can't i luv? why do people keep asking me to give up..loving some1 is not a crime ba? Tried giving her up...tried not to think of her..all this things i jus cannot do it...anyone know wat is love? is this love? I think i really love her too much!even mrs ng has been saying without a gf i seems to be better..but am i really better...no one knows wat i am thinking..coz i can share my problems with no one..no people understand...only one person may understand..but jus dun dare to tell her abt it...alot of things has been keeping in my heart for so long...thinking of dying...but dun think that it will solve problems? or when i am died i dun need to think of any problems..no trouble no nth? is it better if i walk on the road..being bang by the car..?why has luv been troubling me..lastt time i keep thinking that she stiill loves me..didn't expect..few days later......*crying*after that i haven't been hoping for any hope from her luving me...coz wat she tell shien i think is....haiz...dun wish to have any more hope frm her...the hope higher i am much more dissapointed..now already totally sad and dissapointed..proberbly she is better with him...maybe is not proberbly it is surely? neither did i expect to be able to forget everything so fast and start a new beginning..i tink it may be better for her...if miracle would happened..would she once again accept me..? would she once again luv me..? will we be together again? think i am too native...guess it won't happen.....anyway jus thinking that if i am not born in this world i think it is much more better...i really dunno is luv happy , sad or is it a suffer?wat is it....no one knows the ans? u may not luv me anymore but no one can stop me frm loving u..i jus wan tat little rights to luv u...i jus wanna luv u..plz dun take away the rights to luv u...jus give me that little hope..or rights..even it is less than 1% or 0.1% i jus wan that hope and rights to luv u..jus treat me as ur normal friends......